Akatsuki Madness
by SpiderRealm
Summary: AU: To keep them safe from Hunter Nins and the likes, Pein has ordered that all members must reside in the base when not on missions. These are the one-shots of the chaos that follows as all members are forced to live together. (Yaoiness, no actual pairings) (all members are alive) (hiatus)
1. Solitude

**Akatsuki** **Madness** **-** SpiderRealm

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own _Naruto_ , obviously

 **Summary:** To keep them safe from Hunter Nins and the likes, Pein ordered that all members must reside in the base when not on missions. These are the one-shots of the chaos that follows as all members are forced to live together.

 **Pairing(s):** none, but there will be some yaoi moments

 **Word** **Count:** 1,585

\- One-shot 1: Solitude -

The morning was silent and still, not a sound to be heard as the sun weak rays started to shine down from between the foliage of the tall trees surrounding the base. It was times like this that Itachi savored. Ever since he was born, it was as if he never had a peaceful day. It was either hearing his little brother throw his infamous tantrums or listening as his comrades fell around him. There was never a quiet moment in his days, except for when dawn approached. At this point of the day, Itachi found the solitude he needed.

Joining the Akatsuki, those early morning moments extended as he was partnered with someone who understood his need for silence. Kisame never bothered Itachi when the Uchiha was in the mood for peace and quiet, the ex-Mist nin also preferred moments where he could listen to the birds chirping as he cleaned his precious Samahada. Itachi couldn't ask for a better partner. Residing at the base whenever they could, Itachi enjoyed the mornings there the most as the isolated area the base was located in provided him with absolutely no disturbances.

The day Pein announced that it was mandatory for each member to reside at the base unless on a mission was the day that Itachi knew he would never have a peaceful moment again. And he was correct.

Holing up eight men in one base was bound to be a disaster, having three members that were high on energy and loud was a nightmare for Itachi. It was a shock to be awoken by an explosion and loud cursing, followed by childish shrieks. Living with Hidan, Deidara, and Tobi proved to be tasking as Itachi sought to figure out what point of the day he could call his own.

It was against his luck that the three were early risers, people that were commonly known as 'morning people'. A moment of trying to meditate proved to be unsuccessful with those three around.

Attempting to sneak away into the forest that surrounded them proved to be useless as Deidara was automatically suspicious of every move he made, following him into the woods and thus bringing Tobi and Hidan with him. Tobi, because the boy was obsessed with Deidara and followed him everywhere he went, much to the blond haired man's annoyance; and Hidan, because he was constantly bored and knew that wherever Deidara and Tobi went excitement was soon to follow.

His peaceful days came to an end with those three around and even Kisame was starting to see how irritated Itachi was getting. That was when Kisame had a plan.

Kisame had never left his partner's side for anything unless it was for the regular poker night that happened every so often. Kisame preferred the silent Uchiha over the other members, so him hanging around the three trouble makers of the group brought questioning and suspicious eyes to him when he got near them.

"Whaddya want?" Hidan growled, viciously mashing a mound of clay between his hands. Deidara twitched at the violent nature done to his clay, his own hands working diligently on his own mound of clay, nimble fingers working the clay to take the shape of whatever he was striving for. Kisame can admire that the bomber knew how to sculpt without the use of his own Chakra, to him that shows how dedicated Deidara was to his skills and to what he calls art. Everywhere in the base, Kisame could see little clay sculptures on nearly every flat surface available, courtesy of Tobi who took the discarded clay sculptures and took it upon himself to place them around the base. The only reason the others tolerated the sculptures around the base was because Pein figured should they ever need to abandon the base, Deidara could easily set off those little clay sculptures and thus erasing their existence from the area.

Kisame shook these thoughts from his head and focused on the two pairs of eyes, plus an eye mask hole, currently looking up at him. "What makes you think I wanted anything?" He said, shuffling to sit next to Deidara on the floor.

"You never leave the Weasel's side, surprise you even know your way around the base, un." Deidara scowled, despite his apparent annoyance his hands remained gentle as he worked.

Kisame ignored the insult toward his partner and instead said, "Itachi and I have been here before many times, I didn't see the point in exploring the base like everyone else had."

Deidara shrugged and turned ocean blue eyes back toward his hands. Kisame can never get over how Deidara can mold the clay without even looking at it, he likened it to how he can rewrap his Samahada without looking, through the experience of repeating the process more than a thousand times.

"Ne, ne, Kisame-kun!" Tobi called out. Kisame turned politely to the masked man. "Where is Itachi-sama?"

Deidara twitched at the name, scowling harder than before. Kisame chuckled at the reaction, wondering when the blond was going to get over his hatred of Itachi.

"He's in his room, the last mission left a few of his weapons dull. He'd rather get on top of that than let it wait until the last minute."

"That's so smart of him! You never know when Leader-sama will hand out missions!" Tobi gushed, wiggling in excitement. "Tobi cannot wait to become a member!" Tobi hadn't yet been officially made a member of Akatsuki. He was instead partnered with Zetsu until a space opened up for him; meaning until someone died or decided to leave the Akatsuki, at which point they will be killed to avoid their information from being leaked, he would not be able to fully join them.

Hidan snorted and looked slyly to Tobi. "And who do you think Pein will team you up with?"

"Tobi hopes to be partnered with Deidara-senpai!" Tobi gasped, twisting his body to lean his head against his senpai's shoulder.

Deidara snarled and glared at Tobi, shoving him off. "You want my partner dead, un?!" Kisame smirked at the possessive note his voice took. It was common knowledge that Deidara looked up to his partner, Sasori. He respected the man's art and admired his power. If Kisame didn't know any better, he would have thought that Deidara had a crush on the puppeteer.

As Tobi and Deidara started yelling at each other (more like Deidara was the one doing all the yelling while Tobi tried to placate him), Kisame heard a growl and turned just in time to see Hidan throw the unrecognizable clay mould he was working on at the other two.

"Shut the fuck up! How the hell am I supposed to fucking work with you two squealing like a bunch of bitches!" Hidan cursed, a snarl twisting his face.

Kisame watched as Deidara's already flushed face burn redder and could practically see the steam coming out of his flared nostrils.

"You mind repeating that, un?" Deidara growled. Hidan snarled and crawled across the ground to get within inches of Deidara's face.

"Now, now, guys! You heard what Pein-sama said, no fighting in the base! Any damage will come out of your paychecks!" Tobi reminded them. He swayed from side to side, trying to decide who he should try and restrain.

Hidan growled and narrowed his eyes at the blond. With a click of his tongue, he leaned away from Deidara and tore a hand sized piece of clay from the giant mound of clay sitting in the middle of their little impromptu circle and moved back to where he was before.

Deidara huffed and rolled his eyes, looking down in annoyance at the sculpture he was working on, which was now ruined as he had squished it the moment Hidan was right in front of him.

"Whatever, un." He muttered, throwing the piece away and also tearing himself another hand sized piece of clay. Tobi clapped joyously and picked up his incomplete sculpture and set back to working on it.

Kisame blinked at the silence that enveloped the room and slowly started to grin. He finally found a moment in the day where these three were least likely to cause any noises. But for now long? He decided to ask.

"Quite a while, Hidan-kun and Tobi aren't as good as Deidara-senpai!" Tobi answered him. Deidara smirked at the compliment to his art skills.

"Yeah, so shut the fuck up so I can concentrate." Hidan snarled.

Kisame smirked and held his hands up. "Fine, fine. I'll leave you guys to it then." He stood up and stretched. With a nod to the other three, he walked out the room and closed the door gently behind him.

"Did you get that?" Kisame said softly, sending a smirk to a corner in the corridor. From around the corner hid Itachi, who had a small satisfied smirk on his face. He turned away and walked away from where the three were holed up, intending to use this time to his advantage.

For the first time ever since they had all moved into the base, Itachi finally appreciated Deidara's art, for it managed to tame the three beasts for a given amount of time. Enough time for Itachi to find some peace and quiet, to get back in touch with the solitude he so dearly loved.

Kisame smiled, glad to have helped his partner. Now to follow his lead and also use this moment to relax.

-End-

 **Author's** **Note:** So, how was it? Did you like it? Hate it? Leave a review and let me know!

This idea formed every time I daydreamed about the Akatsuki members in some type of situation that had me giggling like a fool, I couldn't help but attempt to write it down. The first eight one-shots will be of each member and how they are reacting to living with each other, then we will get to the crazy stuff.

As you can possibly tell, I don't have a beta and I'm not looking for one. I don't really have the internet or computer to send documents back and forth, if you guys are actually reading this then that means I found a way to post this from my tablet, which is awesome. There is an official app for this website, I'm hoping the ability to upload stories from there will come soon. ***so** **hyped** **for** **that***

Anyway, this is getting a bit long, so I'll end it here. Thank you all for reading and stay tune for more one-shots. Update dates are unknown, so expect perhaps a week or two for the next one-shot. I will try to update as often as possible!

If any of you prefer to read over on AO3, you can find me under this name: _SpiderRealm_

Until the next one-shot,

\- Spider


	2. Acceptance

**Akatsuki Madness** **-** SpiderRealm

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, _obviously._

 **Summary:** AU: To keep them safe from Hunter Nins and the likes, Pein has ordered that all members must reside in the base when not on missions. These are the one-shots of the chaos that follows as all members are forced to live together.

 **Pairing(s):** none, but there will be some yaoi moments

 **Warning:** yaoiness, all members are alive, the first eight one-shots will not be in order of partners, and a bit non-canon. Also, no Madara. You have been warned.

 **Word Count:** 1,543

\- One-shot 2: Acceptance - 

One would say Tobi was energetic, hyperactive, high-spirited, and enthusiastic in nearly everything he does. Be it helping Zetsu on his missions or something as simple as breathing, Tobi was constantly full of energy. The people around Tobi, mainly the Akatsuki, put up with Tobi's behavior and he couldn't be happier to have them around him.

Zetsu was like an older brother to Tobi, always looking out for him and pushing him to do his best in his own special way. Tobi was grateful to Zetsu for saving him that day, from taking him in and helping him heal instead of eating him.

Tobi couldn't remember a single thing from his past, his earliest memory was waking up in severe pain and finding half of his body underneath a boulder. That was the day he had met Zetsu, who had been wondering about in what looked like the aftermath of an intense battle and have came upon his trapped body. Tobi knew what could have happened to him, remembering the terror he had felt as he saw Zetsu's bloodied mouth. With those jaws working themselves in a rhythmical movements and all that blood, it didn't take a genius to know that the man was eating something, that something Tobi didn't even want to think too much about. Seeing the blood and the chewing motions made Tobi fear for his life that day.

Tobi still couldn't fathom as to why Zetsu would keep him alive. To him, he felt that he had nothing to offer to the man. He couldn't fight, he was a burden for nearly three months before he could move on his own, the damage done to his body made it impossible to do so. He couldn't even remember his past, his family, if he knew any useful moves, let alone his own name. He had nothing that would have made him special to Zetsu, but the man still took him in and Tobi couldn't have been happier.

So Tobi did the best he could do and helped Zetsu in any way possible. He trained himself to be the best spy he could be, to be able to help Zetsu on his missions and to be useful for once. He trained himself to be able to move quietly, to go unnoticed, to be able to know what information counted as important and what was considered as useless. He took pride in his ability to get out of any tough situation he found himself in, to get out in one piece and be able to finish his mission for Zetsu and the Akatsuki. He trained himself to be the best he could be and was pleased to see himself in the mirror one day and realize how much he had changed.

Fingering the edge of his orange, spiral mask, Tobi giggled to himself. This mask was a gift given to him by Zetsu, when he had once made a comment about not wanting anyone to see his scarred face. Of course, the mask was taken off a kill Zetsu was about to eat and was taken on a whim, but it was the thought that count. This mask meant so much to Tobi, as it firmly gave him a new identity, one where he didn't have to worry about his amnesia or who he once was. He was Tobi, partner of Zetsu and unofficial member of the Akatsuki. Tobi rocked back and forth joyously and giggled again, this time more louder.

"Tobi, shut up, un!" His senpai snarled from his relaxed position on the forest floor. Tobi squirmed in pleasure as he laid back down and shuffled closer to Deidara, happy that the man wasn't making a fuss about his closeness.

Tobi had been ecstatic when he and Zetsu had received the order that all members must reside in the base when not on missions. As a spy, one must know everything they could about their intended target. When Tobi had learned that Zetsu was a part of an organization called Akatsuki, Tobi had been curious about who these people were. When he got good enough at his job, he gathered up as much information about the other members as he could without prying too much into their personal lives; some things were better left unknown.

He learned everything he could about them and was awestruck by how powerful each one of them were. They all had their strengths and weaknesses, and Tobi was awed at what they were capable of doing.

So when the order was given, Tobi was excited about this turn of events. Zetsu, on the other hand, didn't like the freedom he had being taken from him and had complained quietly to himself about the whole ordeal. Tobi ignored the two sides of Zetsu arguing with each other and instead focused on getting themselves packed and ready for the big move.

Arriving at the base, Tobi was glad to learn that they weren't the first ones there. Tobi was pleased to be able to finally introduce himself to Itachi and Kisame, both who were tolerant of his hyperactive behavior. Next to arrive were Sasori and Deidara, and that was when Tobi met his senpai.

The reports he read about the blond haired bomber were nothing compared to seeing him in person and witnessing the things he could do. Tobi was enamored by Deidara's artistic skills and the passion that he showed.

For once in his life, Tobi was not constantly stuck to Zetsu's side. He followed Deidara wherever he went, wanting to know more about him and wanting to see what else Deidara could do. He was completely obsessed with the bomber and didn't bother to hide that from anyone. The other members soon came less than a month after the order was given and were quick to find their place in the base.

It was a common sight amongst the Akatsuki members to see Tobi not too far behind Deidara and soon the sound of explosions came almost daily as Tobi started to say the first things that came to mind in Deidara's company, which usually ended up angering the bomber and thus having to run for his life as Deidara's little bomb creations chased after him.

Adding Hidan to their little group, Tobi couldn't be happier about the arrangements. The man brought his own little spice to their group and Tobi enjoyed being in the man's presence, and could tell that his senpai was at least content on who he allowed to be around him. At least, when he's not angry.

"Oi! Get off, un!" Deidara shouted and shoved Tobi away from him, who had been getting closer and closer whilst lost in thought until he was snuggled up against Deidara's chest.

"Tobi is sorry, senpai! Tobi didn't mean to..., Tobi wasn't paying attention! Hehe." Tobi gulped, fully realizing they were outside and that Deidara was able to use his bombs freely on him.

"Hoho, someone is gonna get blown up." Hidan crowed, lifting himself up by his forearms. The sadistic pleasure Tobi can see in his crazed eyes wasn't helping him calm his nerves.

Deidara's eye twitched before he snorted and promptly fell back on the ground. An arm was thrown across the bomber's eyes and he snorted again. "You are lucky we are too close to the base, un."

Tobi sighed in relief, laying back down, but this time a little ways away from Deidara. Tobi was forever grateful Pein had ruled against the use of any type of Jutsu inside the base. Sure, the rule was made after Deidara nearly blew up one of the many sitting rooms to smithereens and it was Tobi's fault for riling Deidara up that day, but Tobi was still grateful for the rule being put up. Now Tobi was safe while near or inside the base. Doesn't mean Deidara didn't take other measures to punish him, but at least he was safe from any bomb attacks.

With the sun's brilliant rays shining down on them and the wind gently ruffling the leaves above them and the grass around them, Tobi soon fell into an easy nap and all too soon was kicked awake to the sight of Deidara standing over him with his arms folded across his chest. Tobi turned his head looking for Hidan and found him already making his way back to the base.

"Come on, it's our turn to cook dinner. Let's get started before the others start complaining, un." Deidara grunted, walking past the masked man stretching on the ground.

Tobi hummed and tucked his legs against his chest in order to kicked them out and use the momentum to jump from the ground and onto his feet. Tobi cheered in his head at his perfect landing before skipping after Deidara and Hidan.

"Tobi can take care of the sauce and preparing the ingredients!" Tobi called out, now marching next to Deidara with a happy spring to his steps. Tobi listened as the other two argued on who's job was who's, all the while making their trek back to the base.

Life living with the other members was so exciting for Tobi, each day brought something new and Tobi couldn't be more happier.

-End-

 **Author's** **Note:** First, I would like to say that I am sorry for going past my personal deadline for this one-shot. Things have been a little much this week, my mom needed surgery and went back to the hospital two days later because she had an infection. Plus, I've been looking for a job and that hasn't been easy. But I've been finally able to work on this one-shot and here it is!

The second thing I would like to mention is, thank you arisapphyre for being my first reviewer! I am so sorry I wasn't able to properly thank you in a PM! The site has been pretty weird lately and wouldn't let me load the PM page at all, or it could have been my connection. ***le sigh***

I am going to stick by my weekly update plan, so stay tuned for the next update. As you all can tell, I will be going with the popular versions of the Akatsuki, since they are my favorite when no life threatening events happen. There is no Madara in this story or anything that involves him. So, sorry to those who were looking forward to a one-shot in his Pov!

This is getting a bit long, so I'll end this here. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. If any of you prefer to read over on AO3, I am under this name: _SpiderRealm_

Until the next one-shot, cya!

\- Spider


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